This story is made up · Satire · All people, companies, and events are imaginary
Event Assistant Stops Answering to 'Hey You'; Senior Team Loses Contact With Reality
The only person who knows where everything is would like a name and a lunch break.

LOAD-IN — At 6 a.m., coordinator Jules distributed the updated floor plan, found the missing adapters and arranged coffee. At 9 a.m., a senior producer demanded to know why nobody had distributed the floor plan, found adapters or arranged coffee.
Jules pointed to the email. The producer explained that reading it had not been part of his process. He then called her 'Hey You' and asked her to solve the weather.
At noon, Jules took her scheduled break. Three executives reported that operations had collapsed. In fact, all three needed information already clipped to their credentials.
Jules returned, introduced herself again and asked that requests go through the agreed channel. The producer described this as a surprising new management style. The rest of the crew described it as treating the person running the event like a person.
The soundtrack: End Event Assistant Abuse
♪ The Anthem
End Event Assistant Abuse
Watch the song · get the souvenir swag →
More from Planners
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Event Organizers Launch the Campaign for Better CEO HostsThe Brunch Bread Olympics: A Planner’s Guide to Not Running Out of BagelsPlanner Dreams She Can Do Anything She Wants; Wake-Up Review Meeting Scheduled for ThursdayGala Guest Promotes Herself to VIP Table, Receives Immediate Transfer to Table 47Association Agenda Labeled 'FINAL_final_v9' Found to Be NeitherPlanner Says 'No Problem'; Linguists Confirm It Was a ProblemMother of Groom Opens Unauthorized Second Wedding Command CenterPlanner Falls in Love With Ballroom After Seeing Actual Ceiling HeightConference's Most Popular Activation Is Quiet Chair With Nothing HappeningCommittee Brings Back Mashed Potato Martini Bar After Forgetting Why It Was BannedNext section · Billable Hours
Agency Side →Pitches, scope creep, and decks nobody reads.
Agency Bills Client for Meeting About Reducing Billable Meetings
Efficiency workshop runs 40% over scope.
RFP Requests Full Creative, Strategy, and Budget 'Just to See Your Thinking'
Winner to be selected by procurement on price alone.
Producer Says 'No Problem at All' as Entire Nervous System Files Objection
Client's small change involves replacing the event.